Hysterical Paroxysm

Shifty-eyed, sepia-toned society ladies hold court in frames outside of the laundry room. Creepy carnival masks and saffron-saturated bookshelves stacked with seemingly every issue of National Geographic line the communal hallways. My room has the strange feeling of mostly belonging to 1906, the year the hotel was erected to house displaced earthquake victims. Time is…

Miami Fitness Crush: Mark Strong

If you want abs that ache for days, but give you the confidence to rock that crop top that’s been sitting in your closet for weeks, you have to take a class with Mark Strong. Mark and I met through mutual ~fitness friends~ and immediately bonded over our love of Bad and Boujee, tall men,…

The Life Aquatic: Part Two

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” – Plato’s “Apology”, quoting Socrates When you are on a boat off the coast of Key Largo, you have a few choices. You can stay on the boat. You can lightly probe the shallows, immersing yourself somewhat. Or you can fully commit to exploring the deep, pushing yourself past…

The Life Aquatic: Part One

I have always hated New Year’s Eve. The holiday is perpetually and unnecessarily stressful, whether I had a socially acceptable/”good” NYE, meaning all of my plans worked out and I was embarrasingly drunk at an overpriced bar in midtown Manhattan (’13) or house party on Long Island (’09) with friends, or I had a bad NYE and was…

I Bend It All Night: How To Create A SoulCycle-Esque Spin Class At A Regular Gym

My most recent travels have taken me to Nashville, Newark, and Tampa, none of which are particularly renowned for their boutique fitness offerings. [Though Nashville does have a Barry’s Bootcamp!] Fitness experts say that the best cardio workout is whichever workout you do consistently, whether it be running, rowing, or in my case, SoulCycle. For…

ABMB (and me)

“What is Art Basel?”, asked a male acquaintance of mine last week, after I randomly hit him up to find out which Basel events the media conglomerate he works for might be sponsoring. I immediately launched into a passionate explanation, covering the provenance of the event (Basel, Switzerland -> Miami Beach -> Hong Kong) as well as…

Shopping For The Suitcase (And Snapchat)

There is something about booking a vacation which practically mandates you to splurge on a new wardrobe. Frenemies may glaze over that Snapchat of you at a blah bar in Murray Hill or yet another group Insta at the tired Italian place you always frequent, but you better believe that the second you hashtag #mykonos or #vegasbaby, you will fall…

No8Do-Chapters 5, 6, and 7

[“The Burial of the Count Orgaz“, El Greco, c. 1588] Chapter 5: When Isabella awoke, it felt like an eternity had passed. But judging from the lack of light peering through the window, she had only been knocked out for hours, or maybe just minutes. It was still night, as she could barely see anything….

Best of Miami: Aw Yeah, Summer ’16

I started off the season with a yearning for the summers of my past, endless stretches of sleep, sand, and unexpected adventure. Little did I know, this nostalgic wish would come to manifest itself as reality yet again, with South Beach replacing Compo Beach, and lunchtime acai bowls in lieu of sticky peanut butter and jelly sandwiches….

Not Forgotten

We must learn who is gold, and who is merely gold plated. When I was six years old, I asked my parents for a book about art for my birthday. I couldn’t articulate why I wanted to learn about art then, just that I wanted to. Even as a child, art made me feel something…

Cavorting With Classpass

For awhile, I broke up with Classpass. As any loyal reader of this blog already knows (~ya tu sabes~), I L O V E SoulCycle and I would go every day, if they had a monthly membership option. But, alas, they don’t offer that pricing, and I can only justify so0o0o many $35 ad hoc…

Where The Boiling Waters Are Found

I am sitting atop the Pyramid of the Moon, and I am the embodiment of anger. I am mad because it is hot and my legs hurt and I have to leave Mexico in about 15 hours, even though I want to stay. I am mad because I haven’t worked out in 2 days and,…